OMG...I had done so good. I had gotten up this morning and ran. Then after I dropped the children off, I came back home and rode my bike 4 miles. I got on the computer for a minute, and I started thinking that I really wanted some gumbo. Not just any gumbo, seafood gumbo from my FAVORITE restaurant. It is made perfectly, the roux is very dark and it is not a thick gumbo. (I think that if you're not from deep in the south, this whole thing may be lost on you...I apologize...no I don't, I'll just invite you over for some gumbo!)
Actually, the weather is much too hot for gumbo. Gumbo is something you eat when it's cold. I don't really know why, I guess b/c it's a hot dish and it's spicy. When it gets cold here, you'll hear people say "it's good gumbo weather".
Anyway, I started thinking of alternative things to eat. Nothing sounded quite as good as that gumbo. You may be thinking that gumbo does not constitute "falling WAY off the diet wagon". Well just wait...there's more!!!!!!! So I decided that I'd go to the restaurant and get the gumbo. THEN it occurred to me that never in my life have I ever gone to that restaurant that I haven't gotten seafood gumbo and CRAWFISH WANTONS. OH MY GOSH!!!!!! They are sinful. It is the most fattening and horrible for you thing in the world though. They take won-ton skin and inside of it, they put several different kind of cheeses and some crawfish, it is impecably seasoned and then, THEY DEEP FRY IT!!!!
My mouth started to water...then when I got there, I told the waitress my order, (gumbo, wantons and a Dr. Pepper) and while you are waiting, they bring you a BIG plate full of greasy garlic bread. It was all so good. I had no regrets (that makes me nervous...I SHOULD have regrets about THAT). If someone had tried to take it away from me, I'd have probably snapped their hand off!!!! It was SO good.
Somewhere inside of me, I feel...not guilty...scared. I don't want to be out of control with my eating again. I'm ok though, I'm going to try not to beat myself up too badly, I'll just make better choices starting tomorrow. (maybe tonight, I'll go and get the same thing for supper...only kidding...sort of!!!)
Well, ok...there you go. It's my first food confession. I've always said I'm going to write truthfully, even when it is not flattering, and this was definitely not flattering. I guess that this is a long weight-loss journey and it will be filled with many great choices and hopefully only a very few bad ones.
With Regret (but not nearly enough),
Victoria
3 comments:
OK, we all have our weaknesses so don't beat yourself up too much. Sounds like it was worth it. I do have a recipe for Healthy Jambalaya but not healthy gumbo, maybe I should find a gumbo recipe and make it over. Sounds sac religious in Louisiana, but what do I know I live in Iowa.
LOL. I went to Chillis and at most of a Awesome Blossom and a whole rack of ribs. Boy did I physically feel horrible after that. Maybe it was the 3 Gin and Tonics. Oh, well. Don't worry about it Victoria. Just as you don't start out running ten miles, you don't have to go cold turkey on ALL the things you like to eat. Alot of times its not what you eat, its how much. Gumbo is reasonably healthy, and those wontons sound fabulous. You need to send me some. Just last week I made Chicken and Sausage Gumbo myself. I was so proud. I didn't burn the roux and it was my first time :-) Chin up. You can splurge on yourself a little once in a while. You're not supposed to be miserable on your journey. Keep working hard!
Hi Victoria,
Don't you worry! I know exactly where you're coming from because I lost a whole load of weight recently, and I did exactly the same as you many a time. Well, not exactly the same, cos we don't have gumbo here in the UK, but you get the idea.
Don't beat yourself up over it - the guilt will only make you feel worse anyway. And theres no law saying you have to feel a certain way about it either. You'll get back on the 'straight and narrow' tomorrow, don't you worry - and because you've had a bit of what you wanted, you won't find yourself craving it and feeling really really down.
Thank you, too, for your lovely comment on my blog! I hope its okay that I've linked to your site, I find your blog really inspiring - I don't know how you manage to diet, keep fit and raise kids!
Post a Comment