I havn't posted in almost a week, because I have something I need to say but don't wan't to say. I'm ashamed about this but I need to just come out and say it.
I have decided to be a walker for a while. I am really having a hard time with the run/walk. It's to the point where it is unenjoyable and I really almost hate it. I don't know if it's the weather being so hot/humid, or the amount of extra weight that I'm carrying, but I just really am not adjusting to it. My knees hurt every time I run. I can't breathe. I really am starting to hate it.
About 4 or 5 years ago, I did a run/walk program and it was really easy to go from one step to the next each week. It was fun. I really looked forward to it and enjoyed seeing my progress. Other than the obvious, (I am 38 and not 32 this time) the only 2 differences in now and then are (1) I weighed about 180 then, and (2) it was March when I began, and not August.
I am very sad about this because I look at it as a BIG BIG BIG failure. I still have a goal of completing a half-marathon, and I AM going to do it. I am just tweaking things a little bit right now. I think that if I walk for a while...until the weather is cooler, or until I drop about 15 or 20 pounds, I might ease into running much easier since I will have been walking all of that time.
I walked today and it was very fun. I walked 3 miles. I normally walk/run 2 miles. It took me about 48 minutes. Actually, that's about how long it would take me to run/walk it anyway, because it takes me 30 minutes to run/walk 2 miles.
Anyway, that's it for today.
Thanks for being a great listner,
Victoria
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Random Ramblings While Running
* If you eat a piece of cake while you are running, do those calories count?
* Are those people looking at me and wondering how a beached whale came to be running down their street?
* If I were in a car, I'd run that skinny-girl down and make it look like an accident!
*It is easier to eat a cheeseburger than it is to run a mile.
*My stopwatch is broken. Why is it that it goes so fast during the time that I am recovering and so slow while I am running?
*If I run really slow for my minute and a half, the time will go faster (WHAT???? Sometimes, my thought processes scare me!).
*Oh my gosh, that car just whizzed by me. I could get killed out here. I could eliminate that risk by staying in bed...it's much safer.
* Are those people looking at me and wondering how a beached whale came to be running down their street?
* If I were in a car, I'd run that skinny-girl down and make it look like an accident!
*It is easier to eat a cheeseburger than it is to run a mile.
*My stopwatch is broken. Why is it that it goes so fast during the time that I am recovering and so slow while I am running?
*If I run really slow for my minute and a half, the time will go faster (WHAT???? Sometimes, my thought processes scare me!).
*Oh my gosh, that car just whizzed by me. I could get killed out here. I could eliminate that risk by staying in bed...it's much safer.
What happened?
Ok...here's the deal. I ran Friday morning, lost my mind Friday during the day and ate like a pig (I posted that...about the crawfish). Here's the part you don't know...I went out Friday night and ate the same thing at the same place. Didn't run Sunday...ate like a pig.
Monday--Got up ready to run, couldn't find my stopwatch (not an ESSENTIAL piece of equipment...convenient not at all essential) and talked myself into not running. Ate like a pig.
Tuesday--Didn't run...ate like a pig.
The guilt from all of this is overwhelming. I don't know if I am putting too much pressure on myself saying that I MUST run a half in January. Maybe I should set a goal of a smaller race or a half a little farther out...or no goal at all...I don't know. Everything I've read in Runners World and those kiind of publications encourage you to pick a race and strive for it. That way, you're not just "running", you're running with a certain goal in mind.
I got up this morning and decided to weigh, just to see what kind of damage had been done. I am up to 208 pounds. I started at 211 and had gotten down to 205...now I'm back up to 208. THAT almost sent me back to bed this morning, but I just said "Hey FatGirl, do you want to gain it ALL back? Then get out and run."
I don't know if it is the depression that comes a week before my...well you know. I have posted this before, but I have severe pms. I have no patience, I am grumpy, I get anxiety and/or depression (not like a severe depression, more like a solemness, and I am less tolerant of myself than normal). I am on a special diet that was designed by Debra Hope-Reisedel, a dietician especially for PMS. It works, but not if you don't adhere to it.
Well, there it all is. That's what has been going on with me. Here's what I know but not what I feel: This is a small part of a long journey, you cannot pull a fatgirl off of the couch, stick her in some running shoes and expect that she will not make any mistakes. Keep running, it's going to work itself out in the end.
OH YEAH...I ALMOST FORGOT:
I RAN THIS MORNING. I did my "run 1:30/ walk 2:45". It was hard but I finished. Good job FatGirl!
Monday--Got up ready to run, couldn't find my stopwatch (not an ESSENTIAL piece of equipment...convenient not at all essential) and talked myself into not running. Ate like a pig.
Tuesday--Didn't run...ate like a pig.
The guilt from all of this is overwhelming. I don't know if I am putting too much pressure on myself saying that I MUST run a half in January. Maybe I should set a goal of a smaller race or a half a little farther out...or no goal at all...I don't know. Everything I've read in Runners World and those kiind of publications encourage you to pick a race and strive for it. That way, you're not just "running", you're running with a certain goal in mind.
I got up this morning and decided to weigh, just to see what kind of damage had been done. I am up to 208 pounds. I started at 211 and had gotten down to 205...now I'm back up to 208. THAT almost sent me back to bed this morning, but I just said "Hey FatGirl, do you want to gain it ALL back? Then get out and run."
I don't know if it is the depression that comes a week before my...well you know. I have posted this before, but I have severe pms. I have no patience, I am grumpy, I get anxiety and/or depression (not like a severe depression, more like a solemness, and I am less tolerant of myself than normal). I am on a special diet that was designed by Debra Hope-Reisedel, a dietician especially for PMS. It works, but not if you don't adhere to it.
Well, there it all is. That's what has been going on with me. Here's what I know but not what I feel: This is a small part of a long journey, you cannot pull a fatgirl off of the couch, stick her in some running shoes and expect that she will not make any mistakes. Keep running, it's going to work itself out in the end.
OH YEAH...I ALMOST FORGOT:
I RAN THIS MORNING. I did my "run 1:30/ walk 2:45". It was hard but I finished. Good job FatGirl!
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
FatGirl SLACKING
I am sorry to report to you that I have been eating too much and running/biking too little. I do not know if this is from stress or what it is from.
I have had a little talk with myself, and in the morning, I will be running again.
I'll let'cha know how it goes.
:(
V
I have had a little talk with myself, and in the morning, I will be running again.
I'll let'cha know how it goes.
:(
V
Friday, August 18, 2006
I fell WAY off the diet wagon
OMG...I had done so good. I had gotten up this morning and ran. Then after I dropped the children off, I came back home and rode my bike 4 miles. I got on the computer for a minute, and I started thinking that I really wanted some gumbo. Not just any gumbo, seafood gumbo from my FAVORITE restaurant. It is made perfectly, the roux is very dark and it is not a thick gumbo. (I think that if you're not from deep in the south, this whole thing may be lost on you...I apologize...no I don't, I'll just invite you over for some gumbo!)
Actually, the weather is much too hot for gumbo. Gumbo is something you eat when it's cold. I don't really know why, I guess b/c it's a hot dish and it's spicy. When it gets cold here, you'll hear people say "it's good gumbo weather".
Anyway, I started thinking of alternative things to eat. Nothing sounded quite as good as that gumbo. You may be thinking that gumbo does not constitute "falling WAY off the diet wagon". Well just wait...there's more!!!!!!! So I decided that I'd go to the restaurant and get the gumbo. THEN it occurred to me that never in my life have I ever gone to that restaurant that I haven't gotten seafood gumbo and CRAWFISH WANTONS. OH MY GOSH!!!!!! They are sinful. It is the most fattening and horrible for you thing in the world though. They take won-ton skin and inside of it, they put several different kind of cheeses and some crawfish, it is impecably seasoned and then, THEY DEEP FRY IT!!!!
My mouth started to water...then when I got there, I told the waitress my order, (gumbo, wantons and a Dr. Pepper) and while you are waiting, they bring you a BIG plate full of greasy garlic bread. It was all so good. I had no regrets (that makes me nervous...I SHOULD have regrets about THAT). If someone had tried to take it away from me, I'd have probably snapped their hand off!!!! It was SO good.
Somewhere inside of me, I feel...not guilty...scared. I don't want to be out of control with my eating again. I'm ok though, I'm going to try not to beat myself up too badly, I'll just make better choices starting tomorrow. (maybe tonight, I'll go and get the same thing for supper...only kidding...sort of!!!)
Well, ok...there you go. It's my first food confession. I've always said I'm going to write truthfully, even when it is not flattering, and this was definitely not flattering. I guess that this is a long weight-loss journey and it will be filled with many great choices and hopefully only a very few bad ones.
With Regret (but not nearly enough),
Victoria
Actually, the weather is much too hot for gumbo. Gumbo is something you eat when it's cold. I don't really know why, I guess b/c it's a hot dish and it's spicy. When it gets cold here, you'll hear people say "it's good gumbo weather".
Anyway, I started thinking of alternative things to eat. Nothing sounded quite as good as that gumbo. You may be thinking that gumbo does not constitute "falling WAY off the diet wagon". Well just wait...there's more!!!!!!! So I decided that I'd go to the restaurant and get the gumbo. THEN it occurred to me that never in my life have I ever gone to that restaurant that I haven't gotten seafood gumbo and CRAWFISH WANTONS. OH MY GOSH!!!!!! They are sinful. It is the most fattening and horrible for you thing in the world though. They take won-ton skin and inside of it, they put several different kind of cheeses and some crawfish, it is impecably seasoned and then, THEY DEEP FRY IT!!!!
My mouth started to water...then when I got there, I told the waitress my order, (gumbo, wantons and a Dr. Pepper) and while you are waiting, they bring you a BIG plate full of greasy garlic bread. It was all so good. I had no regrets (that makes me nervous...I SHOULD have regrets about THAT). If someone had tried to take it away from me, I'd have probably snapped their hand off!!!! It was SO good.
Somewhere inside of me, I feel...not guilty...scared. I don't want to be out of control with my eating again. I'm ok though, I'm going to try not to beat myself up too badly, I'll just make better choices starting tomorrow. (maybe tonight, I'll go and get the same thing for supper...only kidding...sort of!!!)
Well, ok...there you go. It's my first food confession. I've always said I'm going to write truthfully, even when it is not flattering, and this was definitely not flattering. I guess that this is a long weight-loss journey and it will be filled with many great choices and hopefully only a very few bad ones.
With Regret (but not nearly enough),
Victoria
Not So Bad This Time
Well, I just got back from my very-early-in-the-morning run, and it wasn't so bad this time. At the begining, it was almost enjoyable. At the end, it was tough, but not unbearable. I think that's how it's supposed to be.
Yesterday, I rode my bike. It was bad. It is very hot, and the only time I can ride is at about 9 or 10 in the morning, but yesterday, I got off kilter and I got up late, got the kids to school 30 minutes tardy (not the norm for me)...had a bunch to do, anyway, I didn't ride until noon. It was REALLY bad. I ride through the lakes, and there is a lot of shade, but still it was bad. It took me 45 minutes to go 5 miles. That is extrememly slow even for me.
Ok...it's time to get the children up. I have to get them fed and brushed (hair and teeth of course) and uniformed and out of the door within 45 minutes. Now that I think about it, I don't know if I have anything "breakfasty" in the house. I might have to stop at McDonalds and get them a biscuit or something. Oh gosh...that's another story altogether. When we stop at McDonalds for breakfast, the 6 year old is frustrating. It goes like this:
Me: Olivia, here we are at McDonalds. What would you like to eat?
Olivia: Ice Cream
Me: Oh, I mean for breakfast Olivia
Olivia: Ice Cream
Me: Livy, I am at the speaker and the lady is waiting. It is BREAKFAST time at McDonalds. What would you like?
Olivia: Nuggets
Me: They don't have nuggets at this time of the morning Livy. What do you want for breakfast. (by this time, I am begining to understand why they do not allow you to abandon OLDER children at the fire stations and police stations...that law only covers a mother who drops off an infant!!!!!)
Olivia: Pancakes
Me: That's it Olivia...I've had it! You know that I do not allow you to eat pancakes (and syrup) in my car.
Me(to the lady in the speaker) A biscuit please
Olivia: (At 4,000 decibels "AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa WAAAAAAIIITTTTTTTTT...I want PANCAAAAAAKKKKKEEEESSSS!
At this point, I get my order and my son's order, and do not get Olivia anything, and she screames all the way to school.
NOTE: For those of you who think it would help to give her 2 acceptable choices and say "would you like this or that?" That doesn't work either. She still says "ice cream" and "pancakes"!!!
Well, let the fun begin! See you later,
Victoria
Yesterday, I rode my bike. It was bad. It is very hot, and the only time I can ride is at about 9 or 10 in the morning, but yesterday, I got off kilter and I got up late, got the kids to school 30 minutes tardy (not the norm for me)...had a bunch to do, anyway, I didn't ride until noon. It was REALLY bad. I ride through the lakes, and there is a lot of shade, but still it was bad. It took me 45 minutes to go 5 miles. That is extrememly slow even for me.
Ok...it's time to get the children up. I have to get them fed and brushed (hair and teeth of course) and uniformed and out of the door within 45 minutes. Now that I think about it, I don't know if I have anything "breakfasty" in the house. I might have to stop at McDonalds and get them a biscuit or something. Oh gosh...that's another story altogether. When we stop at McDonalds for breakfast, the 6 year old is frustrating. It goes like this:
Me: Olivia, here we are at McDonalds. What would you like to eat?
Olivia: Ice Cream
Me: Oh, I mean for breakfast Olivia
Olivia: Ice Cream
Me: Livy, I am at the speaker and the lady is waiting. It is BREAKFAST time at McDonalds. What would you like?
Olivia: Nuggets
Me: They don't have nuggets at this time of the morning Livy. What do you want for breakfast. (by this time, I am begining to understand why they do not allow you to abandon OLDER children at the fire stations and police stations...that law only covers a mother who drops off an infant!!!!!)
Olivia: Pancakes
Me: That's it Olivia...I've had it! You know that I do not allow you to eat pancakes (and syrup) in my car.
Me(to the lady in the speaker) A biscuit please
Olivia: (At 4,000 decibels "AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa WAAAAAAIIITTTTTTTTT...I want PANCAAAAAAKKKKKEEEESSSS!
At this point, I get my order and my son's order, and do not get Olivia anything, and she screames all the way to school.
NOTE: For those of you who think it would help to give her 2 acceptable choices and say "would you like this or that?" That doesn't work either. She still says "ice cream" and "pancakes"!!!
Well, let the fun begin! See you later,
Victoria
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Blaaaahhhh
I got up this morning at 5:30 again, but it was significantly less easy than last time! and I ran. I only ran one mile though. It was really hard this morning. I got winded extremely quickly, and the humidity was kicking my butt. I just couldn't go any further. I run a 1 mile loop twice and so at the end of the first mile, I am passing my house. Secretly, I ALWAYS want to find an excuse to stop after the first mile, but I never do. I just really felt kind of bad this morning.
I had planned to ride my bike today, but I'm just not sure at this point. Maybe after I've had my coffee and my breakfast, I'll reconsider. I just don't want to get far away on my bike and get sick or anything. Maybe I'll just ride a slow ride near where I park...I don't know we'll see.
I got an mp3 player yesterday. I really like it. About 2 weeks ago, I was reading someone's blog, I think it was Barbara's, and she talked about that her mp3 player had some sample songs already programmed into it when she got it, and how obnoxious that was. That happened to me, and I can't figure out how to get them OUT. I looked at Barb's blog, and I couldn't find that post. I'm going to have to figure out what to do about that.
Oh...by the way...I put a new pic on my profile. My husband said that the other one was in no way reflective of how I look and that this one is more representative of me. (Actually, he said "Victoria, that picture is ugly...you don't look like that...get that ugly picture off of there!!!!!!") My husband's communications skills are amazing. He is so diplomatic. I'm sure pretty soon he'll be an ambassador to some country somewhere with those skills!!!!! Anyway...a new picture is there!
Ok...Off to wake up the children for school.
I hope your day is great.
Sincerely,
Victoria
I had planned to ride my bike today, but I'm just not sure at this point. Maybe after I've had my coffee and my breakfast, I'll reconsider. I just don't want to get far away on my bike and get sick or anything. Maybe I'll just ride a slow ride near where I park...I don't know we'll see.
I got an mp3 player yesterday. I really like it. About 2 weeks ago, I was reading someone's blog, I think it was Barbara's, and she talked about that her mp3 player had some sample songs already programmed into it when she got it, and how obnoxious that was. That happened to me, and I can't figure out how to get them OUT. I looked at Barb's blog, and I couldn't find that post. I'm going to have to figure out what to do about that.
Oh...by the way...I put a new pic on my profile. My husband said that the other one was in no way reflective of how I look and that this one is more representative of me. (Actually, he said "Victoria, that picture is ugly...you don't look like that...get that ugly picture off of there!!!!!!") My husband's communications skills are amazing. He is so diplomatic. I'm sure pretty soon he'll be an ambassador to some country somewhere with those skills!!!!! Anyway...a new picture is there!
Ok...Off to wake up the children for school.
I hope your day is great.
Sincerely,
Victoria
Monday, August 14, 2006
Oh my Gosh I Almost Forgot the Most Important Thing
Oh my GOSH how could I forget to tell you this...Today is one month (to the date) that I started my program. I weighed right before I ran this morning and I'm down to 205!!!!!! Not too shabby! Still a fatgirl but moving in the right direction. 6 pounds my first month. Wow! I have lost more on previous diets but I'll take 6 pounds with a smile.
Just wanted to let you know.
Sincerely,
Victoria
Just wanted to let you know.
Sincerely,
Victoria
1st Day of School
Hi, good morning. I hope all is well with you. Today is the first day of school for my children and hence, my first day of my new routine: running at 5:30 in the morning. It wasn't so bad today because I have a lot of adrenaline right now anyway. I guess b/c it's the first day of school and I have the "first day jitters". I'm worried I'll get them there late, or that we don't have all of the supplies (which we dont, because EVERY Wal-Mart in town is out of pencil boxes...I don't know why...they new people were going to need them!).
Anyway, I didn't have any trouble getting up and the run went ok. I pooped out on my last rep. and I couldn't do the whole minute and a half, I only did about 45 seconds. I really think that by the end of September, begining of October, I'll see great improvements. I say that because, here in South Louisiana, the humidity is KILLER even at 5:30 in the morning. You sweat just walking to the end of the driveway to get the paper. Also, by the end of September, I will weigh less and will move better. I've said it before and I'll say it again: there is nothing graceful about a 200 pound woman lumbering down the street!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok...Off to school! I have to get the children up at 6:30 and leave at 7:15. I hope your day goes well. I'm going to go and ride my bike at the lake today I think. If I do, I'll let'cha know how it went this evening.
CUL8R,
Victoria
Anyway, I didn't have any trouble getting up and the run went ok. I pooped out on my last rep. and I couldn't do the whole minute and a half, I only did about 45 seconds. I really think that by the end of September, begining of October, I'll see great improvements. I say that because, here in South Louisiana, the humidity is KILLER even at 5:30 in the morning. You sweat just walking to the end of the driveway to get the paper. Also, by the end of September, I will weigh less and will move better. I've said it before and I'll say it again: there is nothing graceful about a 200 pound woman lumbering down the street!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok...Off to school! I have to get the children up at 6:30 and leave at 7:15. I hope your day goes well. I'm going to go and ride my bike at the lake today I think. If I do, I'll let'cha know how it went this evening.
CUL8R,
Victoria
Friday, August 11, 2006
Yummmmmmm
We just got back from our "date", which consisted of going out to eat and then going to Wal-Mart and buying school supplies!!! Not too romantic, but it is a lot easier to buy the supplies when the children are NOT with us.
We were going to go see "World Trade Center" at the movie, but we couldn't make the time coordinate with the sitter. We had to pick the children up at 9:30, and the movie ended at 9:24. We could not have made it across town to get them in time. We don't have a person who watches them, our church sponsors a thing once a month where they watch the children so that the moms and dads can go out. They close at 9:30, so the movie was a "no-go".
The dinner was GREAT! We had EXCELLENT service and the food was delicious. We got our food really fast too. When our waiter first arrived to take our drink order, we gave him our food order too (we always get the same thing at Chili's, so there is no need to look at the menu). We got our drinks in about 5 minutes, about 3 minutes after that, we got our appetizer, and before we even ate any of our chips and salsa, our food came! It was great!
I hope all was well with you too. I'll be running again tomorrow, and I'll tell you how it went.
Have a great night.
Sincerely,
Victoria
We were going to go see "World Trade Center" at the movie, but we couldn't make the time coordinate with the sitter. We had to pick the children up at 9:30, and the movie ended at 9:24. We could not have made it across town to get them in time. We don't have a person who watches them, our church sponsors a thing once a month where they watch the children so that the moms and dads can go out. They close at 9:30, so the movie was a "no-go".
The dinner was GREAT! We had EXCELLENT service and the food was delicious. We got our food really fast too. When our waiter first arrived to take our drink order, we gave him our food order too (we always get the same thing at Chili's, so there is no need to look at the menu). We got our drinks in about 5 minutes, about 3 minutes after that, we got our appetizer, and before we even ate any of our chips and salsa, our food came! It was great!
I hope all was well with you too. I'll be running again tomorrow, and I'll tell you how it went.
Have a great night.
Sincerely,
Victoria
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Good Run
Wow! That was a pretty fun run. I did 7 reps of "run 1:30/walk 2:45" and it felt ok. I think I'm gonna stay with this one for a week or two, and then we'll see what happens. Oh...cool...I just did the math on that and if I'm not too far off it's 29 minutes 45 seconds. That's perfect, so that means that I still did a 30 minute run. Great.
I made a bad food choice tonight and filled up with junk. Now I'm not hungry for my real supper (probably just as well). I don't do that very often, but I am not 100% at my diet either. That's ok. I guess I'm doing better than I was a month ago.
The kids start school next week, and I'm going to go to the lake and ride my bike. I can't wait. I'm going to run every other day when I first get up and then on the other days, I'm going to ride my bike. Riding my bike clears my mind (running just makes me pant! but I'm sure that'll change soon).
Oh! Guess who I saw on my run tonight...Oh c'mon guess, it'll be fun! Oh ok, I'll tell you! I saw Hal. Remember Hal from the other day...the nice man that gave me the glass of water? He said that he wants to exercise everyday like me! Hey...that was cool! He walks 2 blocks and he wants to go further soon.
Well, my poor kids are starving to death because their mommy hasn't fed them yet (Don't look at the clock please!) It's really late to be feeding kids...any good mom would have done that before she ran, but by the time I got back from the store tonight, it was almost dark and I wanted to hurry and run.
Ok...Have a great night and I'll see you tomorrow.
Sincerely,
Victoria
I made a bad food choice tonight and filled up with junk. Now I'm not hungry for my real supper (probably just as well). I don't do that very often, but I am not 100% at my diet either. That's ok. I guess I'm doing better than I was a month ago.
The kids start school next week, and I'm going to go to the lake and ride my bike. I can't wait. I'm going to run every other day when I first get up and then on the other days, I'm going to ride my bike. Riding my bike clears my mind (running just makes me pant! but I'm sure that'll change soon).
Oh! Guess who I saw on my run tonight...Oh c'mon guess, it'll be fun! Oh ok, I'll tell you! I saw Hal. Remember Hal from the other day...the nice man that gave me the glass of water? He said that he wants to exercise everyday like me! Hey...that was cool! He walks 2 blocks and he wants to go further soon.
Well, my poor kids are starving to death because their mommy hasn't fed them yet (Don't look at the clock please!) It's really late to be feeding kids...any good mom would have done that before she ran, but by the time I got back from the store tonight, it was almost dark and I wanted to hurry and run.
Ok...Have a great night and I'll see you tomorrow.
Sincerely,
Victoria
Let the eating begin!
Ok...It's official...we have a sitter for the children for tomorrow night, and my husband and I are going out to dinner! I have been (about 80%) dilligent with my diet for the past 3 weeks, and tomorrow, I will EAT!
We are going to my favorite place (Chili's) and I already know what I'm going to get. Shrimp Fajitas and a Presidente Margarita! Oh my GOSH! I am sooooo happy.
I don't know if you can tell, but we NEVER get a sitter. I think the last time we had a sitter was 4 months ago, and before that, it had been like years!
I am going to run tonight and I'll let'cha know how it goes when I'm done.
Have a great afternoon.
With Great Anticipation of a Great Meal,
Victoria
We are going to my favorite place (Chili's) and I already know what I'm going to get. Shrimp Fajitas and a Presidente Margarita! Oh my GOSH! I am sooooo happy.
I don't know if you can tell, but we NEVER get a sitter. I think the last time we had a sitter was 4 months ago, and before that, it had been like years!
I am going to run tonight and I'll let'cha know how it goes when I'm done.
Have a great afternoon.
With Great Anticipation of a Great Meal,
Victoria
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Having A Hard Time Finding Myself
My run last night was a bit confusing for me. I started with intentions of doning my "run 1 minute/walk 2:45" but after the first run, I didn't want to stop at 1 minute, so I continued to 2 minutes, then I didn't rest for 3 minutes, I rested for 2 minutes. I continued after that with "run 2/ walk 3" for 5 reps. I ended up only exercising for about 24 minutes instead of 30 because the increase is too much.
I know I should probably stick with the "run 1/ walk 2:45" for a few more times, or maybe "run 1:30/ walk 3:30 X 6 reps." It funny about me...I'm not a competitive person with other people, but I am with myself. If I am playing a game against someone and they win, I am genuinely happy for them, and I don't feel like I should play harder next time. I don't really care if I win or if they win. I lack a competitiveness in regards to other people. I dont know...it's a quality I've never had. I'm just not competitive w/ other people.
However, I am very competitive with MYSELF. I want to beat my old record, or do better in things than I did last time. I always push myself to do the best I can. It's not a bad way to be, but I think I just need to be more patient with myself when it comes to running. It's still very early in the game for me as a runner. I think I'm just having a hard time finding a pace that feels good and a distance that feels good right now.
The good thing is that I am not quitting any time soon so I'll have plenty of time to figure it all out.
I hope all is well with you and yours
Sincerely,
Victoria
I know I should probably stick with the "run 1/ walk 2:45" for a few more times, or maybe "run 1:30/ walk 3:30 X 6 reps." It funny about me...I'm not a competitive person with other people, but I am with myself. If I am playing a game against someone and they win, I am genuinely happy for them, and I don't feel like I should play harder next time. I don't really care if I win or if they win. I lack a competitiveness in regards to other people. I dont know...it's a quality I've never had. I'm just not competitive w/ other people.
However, I am very competitive with MYSELF. I want to beat my old record, or do better in things than I did last time. I always push myself to do the best I can. It's not a bad way to be, but I think I just need to be more patient with myself when it comes to running. It's still very early in the game for me as a runner. I think I'm just having a hard time finding a pace that feels good and a distance that feels good right now.
The good thing is that I am not quitting any time soon so I'll have plenty of time to figure it all out.
I hope all is well with you and yours
Sincerely,
Victoria
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Short Run Tonight
Usually when I do my "run 1/walk 2:45", it takes me 2 miles. Tonight, the bottom fell out of the sky right before the end of the first mile. I had my phone with me and my walkman so I stopped. Most of the time, I am looking for an excuse to stop at the end of the first mile, but tonight, I was moving right along. I toyed with taking off my walkman and bringing it in and continuing my run, but I'm glad I didn't, because it started to lightning a minute or two after I stopped.
That's all 4 2nite.
I hope all is well with you.
Sincerely,
Victoria
That's all 4 2nite.
I hope all is well with you.
Sincerely,
Victoria
Friday, August 04, 2006
This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life
...there's just no other way to say it. It is just HARD. I have to talk myself out of quitting from one minute to the next during the first half of my run...I always feel better on the 2nd half, because I'm almost done.
My workout is not set too high because I can run the 1 minute ok and I'm not out of breath anymore when it is time to run again...it's just that this is something I've never really done before, and it is so different from what I am accustomed to (which is nothing).
I didn't get a chance to get my bike tire fixed yesterday, so I'm going to go by there tomorrow, and I'm going to ride. I love riding my bike. I feel like I am flying. Maybe one day when I can run a long ways, I'll do a duathlon. THAT sounds like fun.
I don't want to sound like I am a whiney baby, or a complainer or anything because I am probably one of the toughest people I know. I've been through a lot in my life, I have a great attitude, and I know that this is going to get better once my body gets conditioned to it.
When I started this blog, I promised myself that I would always be 100% honest with myself and with whoever chose to read it, and that I would never cut corners. If it's hard, I'll say it's hard, if it's a breeze, I'll say that too. If I skip a bunch of workouts and eat a bunch of cheeseburgers, you can look for me to write about that as well. I want this blog to be an accurate depiction of my journey from couch-potato fatgirl to half-marathon runner (and beyond!), and the truth of it is that I am very out of shape and getting into it is not a lot of fun...the benefits will be great, but I don't think anyone ever told me it woud be easy...and it isn't.
I hope all is well with you and yours tonight. As always, thanks for listening.
With Sincerity,
Victoria
My workout is not set too high because I can run the 1 minute ok and I'm not out of breath anymore when it is time to run again...it's just that this is something I've never really done before, and it is so different from what I am accustomed to (which is nothing).
I didn't get a chance to get my bike tire fixed yesterday, so I'm going to go by there tomorrow, and I'm going to ride. I love riding my bike. I feel like I am flying. Maybe one day when I can run a long ways, I'll do a duathlon. THAT sounds like fun.
I don't want to sound like I am a whiney baby, or a complainer or anything because I am probably one of the toughest people I know. I've been through a lot in my life, I have a great attitude, and I know that this is going to get better once my body gets conditioned to it.
When I started this blog, I promised myself that I would always be 100% honest with myself and with whoever chose to read it, and that I would never cut corners. If it's hard, I'll say it's hard, if it's a breeze, I'll say that too. If I skip a bunch of workouts and eat a bunch of cheeseburgers, you can look for me to write about that as well. I want this blog to be an accurate depiction of my journey from couch-potato fatgirl to half-marathon runner (and beyond!), and the truth of it is that I am very out of shape and getting into it is not a lot of fun...the benefits will be great, but I don't think anyone ever told me it woud be easy...and it isn't.
I hope all is well with you and yours tonight. As always, thanks for listening.
With Sincerity,
Victoria
Thursday, August 03, 2006
WEIGH To Go FatGirl
I have been running and eating properly for 2 weeks now. I weighed this morning and I have lost 4 pounds! I now weigh 207. Hardly down to my supermodel weight, but I'm 4 pounds less than I was 2 weeks ago. I didn't gain it all in 2 weeks so I won't lose it all in 2 weeks but I am very proud of myself. Plus, I can walk/run for 30 minutes without dying...in just 2 short weeks.
I want to go ride my bike today. I have to go get my tire fixed. When I went riding Sunday, something must have happened because my tire is busted. I have to go to the bike place and see about it. While I am there, I am going to ask him if he can show me what is wrong and how he fixes it, that way I can know more about my bike. I plan to ride a lot, and I need to know what to do if something goes wrong. I don't have any idea what is wrong with it. The only thing I can think is that while I was riding Sunday, I stopped and put air in my tires and I might have put too much. I don't know. We'll see what the guy says today.
Ok. I'm on my way to start my day.
Have a great day,
Victoria
I want to go ride my bike today. I have to go get my tire fixed. When I went riding Sunday, something must have happened because my tire is busted. I have to go to the bike place and see about it. While I am there, I am going to ask him if he can show me what is wrong and how he fixes it, that way I can know more about my bike. I plan to ride a lot, and I need to know what to do if something goes wrong. I don't have any idea what is wrong with it. The only thing I can think is that while I was riding Sunday, I stopped and put air in my tires and I might have put too much. I don't know. We'll see what the guy says today.
Ok. I'm on my way to start my day.
Have a great day,
Victoria
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Back in the saddle again
I just got back from running. It felt SOOO good. Oh man! I haven't run since Saturday. I rode my bike Sunday and Monday and Tuesday I felt awful. I hate to say it in mixed company so I'll just say that there is one week out of the month (sometimes a WHOLE week, sometimes just 3 or 4 days) when I feel so awful that I am almost incapacitated. I don't know why it is so bad for me. Some women just breeze through it, but not me.
The diet that I am on now should help me because it was designed by a nutritionist for PMS and PMDD specifically and she helps a lot of women with this. She says that usually after about 90 days on the diet, you can feel a change. I'm hoping that's true.
Apparently the rest did me some good though. I really did have a great run. It was hard but not unbearable. I did my 8 repetitions of "run 1 minute/ walk 2:45" and it really felt perfect. After the 4th repetition, my recovery was about 7 and a half minutes because I looped back by my house and came in to get my walkman wires untangled and get Thunder some water. I think it made the 2nd half of the run much easier.
I really can't believe that I don't feel exhausted or anything. I feel good. I am so proud of myself.
Has anyone tried the Asian Salad at McDonalds? I ate one today for the first time and it was downright enjoyable. Usually I just suffer through a salad, but this one has all kind of stuff in it, and the dressing they give you is so good too. It filled me up from lunch to supper. It was great.
Well, I'm gonna go tuck the kiddos into bed.
I hope all is well with you.
Sincerely,
Victoria
The diet that I am on now should help me because it was designed by a nutritionist for PMS and PMDD specifically and she helps a lot of women with this. She says that usually after about 90 days on the diet, you can feel a change. I'm hoping that's true.
Apparently the rest did me some good though. I really did have a great run. It was hard but not unbearable. I did my 8 repetitions of "run 1 minute/ walk 2:45" and it really felt perfect. After the 4th repetition, my recovery was about 7 and a half minutes because I looped back by my house and came in to get my walkman wires untangled and get Thunder some water. I think it made the 2nd half of the run much easier.
I really can't believe that I don't feel exhausted or anything. I feel good. I am so proud of myself.
Has anyone tried the Asian Salad at McDonalds? I ate one today for the first time and it was downright enjoyable. Usually I just suffer through a salad, but this one has all kind of stuff in it, and the dressing they give you is so good too. It filled me up from lunch to supper. It was great.
Well, I'm gonna go tuck the kiddos into bed.
I hope all is well with you.
Sincerely,
Victoria
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Look Out...Fat Girl Coming Through
I went to the lakes today and rode my bike. I rode for 4.3 miles. It was SOOOOO much fun. When I ride my bike, I am not fat, I am not out of shape, and I am not slow...I am sleek and aerodynamical!!! I feel so "in control" of my bike (most of the time!)
I had my earphones on and I completely lost track of time. I felt like I was playing a video game called "Dodge the Runners"!! There are a lot of runners at the lakes, and I was just flying past them (very carefully, and always with a very pleasant "hello" as I passed). I really do like the freedom of riding my bike.
This is not to say that I do not enjoy running, it's just that, at this stage in the game, I'm so slow and the bike goes so much faster. Tomorrow is my running day. I'm looking forward to it.
I'm putting a picture of me on my bike today. It's a blurry one, because my little boy took it of me with my camera phone. I just wanted you to get some idea of a visual (as unpleasant as it may be right now...documentation is important!).
FAT GIRL ON A BIKE
Ok. I'm gonna go now. I hope you have a great day.
Sincerely,
Victoria
I had my earphones on and I completely lost track of time. I felt like I was playing a video game called "Dodge the Runners"!! There are a lot of runners at the lakes, and I was just flying past them (very carefully, and always with a very pleasant "hello" as I passed). I really do like the freedom of riding my bike.
This is not to say that I do not enjoy running, it's just that, at this stage in the game, I'm so slow and the bike goes so much faster. Tomorrow is my running day. I'm looking forward to it.
I'm putting a picture of me on my bike today. It's a blurry one, because my little boy took it of me with my camera phone. I just wanted you to get some idea of a visual (as unpleasant as it may be right now...documentation is important!).
FAT GIRL ON A BIKE
Ok. I'm gonna go now. I hope you have a great day.
Sincerely,
Victoria
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Wow Cool...I just found something out
I just found out that on December 2nd, there is a "Baton Rouge Beach Half Marathon". That'll be great! I can do that one and get some experience before Houston. I'll get to see how I'm progressing. That's awesome.
Cool...Just thought I'd let'cha know.
V
Cool...Just thought I'd let'cha know.
V
I did it...It wasn't pretty but I did it!
Alright, heres how it went: It was hard! It was really hard, but I did it. I think that the "run 1 minute/walk 2:45" is the perfect starting point for me. I'll do this for a week or two, until it gets easier, and then I'll tweak some more. I'm sure that the more I do it, the easier it'll get.
I'm going to have to figure out how to bring a water bottle with me. I hold Thunder with one hand, and I've got this big, bulky "Walkman" in the other (yes, I am from the Ice Age, thanks for asking!...I know that no one has a "Walkman" anymore). I had to stop and ask a neighbor for a glass of water this morning. That sort of thing has great potential for disaster, so I should definitely figure out some way to keep water with me. It takes priority over the Walkman if need be. Thank goodness though, that the neighbor was very nice. He was a Vietnamese man named Hal. He is always working on his flower bed everytime I bike or jog or drive by. He has a beautiful yard.
I'll bet the inside of his house is beautiful too, because as I was waiting under the carport, I noticed that he keeps his shoes outside. He takes his shoes off and leaves them outside. He had 2 big shoe rack thingys on his carport, and there must be about 50 pairs of shoes there. I guess that's a good idea, to not wear shoes inside...it probably keeps his floors from getting dirty, but I hope no one takes his shoes. I don't guess anyone will. I don't know though, sometimes people steal some strange stuff.
Ok...enough about that! Just...bring a water bottle next time Victoria!
I sure do feel good that I was able to accomplish that. That's a big thing for me.
I'm off to start my day now, I'll talk to you later. I hope your day goes well.
Sincerely,
Victoria
I'm going to have to figure out how to bring a water bottle with me. I hold Thunder with one hand, and I've got this big, bulky "Walkman" in the other (yes, I am from the Ice Age, thanks for asking!...I know that no one has a "Walkman" anymore). I had to stop and ask a neighbor for a glass of water this morning. That sort of thing has great potential for disaster, so I should definitely figure out some way to keep water with me. It takes priority over the Walkman if need be. Thank goodness though, that the neighbor was very nice. He was a Vietnamese man named Hal. He is always working on his flower bed everytime I bike or jog or drive by. He has a beautiful yard.
I'll bet the inside of his house is beautiful too, because as I was waiting under the carport, I noticed that he keeps his shoes outside. He takes his shoes off and leaves them outside. He had 2 big shoe rack thingys on his carport, and there must be about 50 pairs of shoes there. I guess that's a good idea, to not wear shoes inside...it probably keeps his floors from getting dirty, but I hope no one takes his shoes. I don't guess anyone will. I don't know though, sometimes people steal some strange stuff.
Ok...enough about that! Just...bring a water bottle next time Victoria!
I sure do feel good that I was able to accomplish that. That's a big thing for me.
I'm off to start my day now, I'll talk to you later. I hope your day goes well.
Sincerely,
Victoria
Friday, July 28, 2006
Planning Ahead to Avoid Failure
I got to ride my bike today, but just for about 10 minutes. My husband does emergency-response work, and he has a call to go on, so I have to be at home with the children. I enjoyed my bike ride.
I think that when the children start school in mid-August, I might ride my bike during the day on the days when I don't run. There are some lakes around here that have bike paths around them, and even if it's hot during the day (which it definitely will be), I can ride there because there are lots of trees.
I'm just trying to think of a way that I can maintain my running and biking schedule during school. When school is in, I can only really exercise early in the morning before school, or during the school day itself. I work in the afternoons at my children's school, and the evenings are too hectic. I have to cook supper, and get everyone bathed and fed and tucked in, and uniforms have to be put out for the next day. Also, it gets dark earlier during the winter months.
So, the bottom line is, I think that on the days when I run, I'll do that before school. That will get me up and moving, and it'll ensure that I'm at school on time. On the days when I don't run, when I ride my bike, I'll do that during the day while the kids are at school.
I'm just trying to ensure that when the time comes, there will be no excuses! I want to make sure that I am all lined up, and know what I'm going to be doing.
Ok...tomorrow morning, I'm gonna do my "walk 2:45, run 1 minute". We'll see how that goes, and if need be, I'll tweak some more. I'm going to put my clothes and shoes and Thunder's leash by the side of my bed, so that it will be easily accessible in the morning. (I read that little tip somewhere and it really works for me).
I took a night off from cooking tonight. The children and husband wanted pizza (he had to take his with him and eat it on the way to his call). I think that after the kids finish eating their pizza, we'll run to McDonalds and I'll get a Grilled Chicken Sandwich no mayo, extra pickles and a side salad and a parfait. They put the Chicken Sandwich on a wheat roll of some sort. I don't think that it's whole-wheat, but it's not the regular white bun either. It's not 100% healthy but it's not junk, and I won't have to cook either.
I hope you have a great night.
Be good,
FatGirl
I think that when the children start school in mid-August, I might ride my bike during the day on the days when I don't run. There are some lakes around here that have bike paths around them, and even if it's hot during the day (which it definitely will be), I can ride there because there are lots of trees.
I'm just trying to think of a way that I can maintain my running and biking schedule during school. When school is in, I can only really exercise early in the morning before school, or during the school day itself. I work in the afternoons at my children's school, and the evenings are too hectic. I have to cook supper, and get everyone bathed and fed and tucked in, and uniforms have to be put out for the next day. Also, it gets dark earlier during the winter months.
So, the bottom line is, I think that on the days when I run, I'll do that before school. That will get me up and moving, and it'll ensure that I'm at school on time. On the days when I don't run, when I ride my bike, I'll do that during the day while the kids are at school.
I'm just trying to ensure that when the time comes, there will be no excuses! I want to make sure that I am all lined up, and know what I'm going to be doing.
Ok...tomorrow morning, I'm gonna do my "walk 2:45, run 1 minute". We'll see how that goes, and if need be, I'll tweak some more. I'm going to put my clothes and shoes and Thunder's leash by the side of my bed, so that it will be easily accessible in the morning. (I read that little tip somewhere and it really works for me).
I took a night off from cooking tonight. The children and husband wanted pizza (he had to take his with him and eat it on the way to his call). I think that after the kids finish eating their pizza, we'll run to McDonalds and I'll get a Grilled Chicken Sandwich no mayo, extra pickles and a side salad and a parfait. They put the Chicken Sandwich on a wheat roll of some sort. I don't think that it's whole-wheat, but it's not the regular white bun either. It's not 100% healthy but it's not junk, and I won't have to cook either.
I hope you have a great night.
Be good,
FatGirl
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Tweak tweak tweak
I Googled some of the "run/walk" programs, and none of them were exactly what I had used before. Some of the programs call for you to "run until you are tired, then walk until you feel like running again, and then run until you are tired...repeat for 30 minutes". This might be good for some people, but I want exact numbers so that I can see if I am improving.
After I looked at some of the programs, I sat down with pencil and paper, and came up with this:
Run 1 minute
Walk 2 minutes 45 seconds
Repeat 8 times
It works...it equals 30 minutes. I'll give it a shot on Saturday. Tomorrow I get to ride my bike!
Alright, lemmie go get my shower and get the rest of my day started.
Bye 4 Now,
FatGirl
After I looked at some of the programs, I sat down with pencil and paper, and came up with this:
Run 1 minute
Walk 2 minutes 45 seconds
Repeat 8 times
It works...it equals 30 minutes. I'll give it a shot on Saturday. Tomorrow I get to ride my bike!
Alright, lemmie go get my shower and get the rest of my day started.
Bye 4 Now,
FatGirl
Tweaking until I get it right
I just got back from my morning run. I am still having a hard time finding a good starting point. The 8 reps of "run 60 seconds, walk 90 seconds" didn't work, so this morning I tried 6 reps of run 60 seconds, walk 2 minutes" and I only got through 5 of those, and I was in moderate to severe distress when I finished, so I'm not sure where to go with this. I'm sure if I keep tweaking, I'll find the perfect starting point, and then increasing will be a breeze.
I did one of these "walk/run" programs about 4 years ago, and the first week was much easier. I'm going to try to find it again. I can't remember exactly where I got it from. Everything I had at that time was published by Runners World, so I'm sure I can just look on their site or something. I almost think the first week was "walk 3 minutes" and then something. It probably wouldn't be too hard to figure one out mathematically, since they are all based on a 25-30 minute workout. I'm going to keep trying.
I experimented with eating before I ran this morning, and that was not a good experiment at all. I tried to eat 1/2 of a peanut butter sandwich. I can't really swallow that early in the morning, and peanut butter was asking a bit too much. Maybe a half of an energy bar or something. I really don't know.
Ok...I'm off to the Runners World website to see which "walk/run" program they recommend.
Thanks for being such a good listener!
Have a Great Day,
Victoria
I did one of these "walk/run" programs about 4 years ago, and the first week was much easier. I'm going to try to find it again. I can't remember exactly where I got it from. Everything I had at that time was published by Runners World, so I'm sure I can just look on their site or something. I almost think the first week was "walk 3 minutes" and then something. It probably wouldn't be too hard to figure one out mathematically, since they are all based on a 25-30 minute workout. I'm going to keep trying.
I experimented with eating before I ran this morning, and that was not a good experiment at all. I tried to eat 1/2 of a peanut butter sandwich. I can't really swallow that early in the morning, and peanut butter was asking a bit too much. Maybe a half of an energy bar or something. I really don't know.
Ok...I'm off to the Runners World website to see which "walk/run" program they recommend.
Thanks for being such a good listener!
Have a Great Day,
Victoria
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
What A Trip
Wow! Guess what I just did..............Go ahead..............GUESS..............Nope, Wrong, Guess Again...........................NO SILLY...NOT THAT!!!!!!!!!! I decided that I want to be active every day, but the "Couch to 5k" program suggests that you rest every other day. So, I aired up the tires on my bike, and I rode! Oh My GOSH that was fun! I had SO MUCH FUN!!!! It was amazing. I forgot what it was like. I felt so free!
I don't know how far I rode, I don't know how fast I rode, I just rode! I think it must have been about 40 minutes. It was the greatest thing EVER! It beats running because when I run, I can only go as fast as my body will let me go, but when I bike, I can go as fast as I really want to go.
That was a blast. I don't, at all, mind doing that every other day. I listened to music in my earphones too. (Yes, I know that is not safe because if I get hit by a car I won't know it until I go flying into the air and not when the car starts to skid.)
OK...So, I needed a good day after yesterday. I'm going to see how the running goes tomorrow morning. Maybe I'll just breeze through it. We'll see. I'm not so frustrated anymore. I think that even if I have to adjust the amount of time that I alternate the running and walking, it'll still all work out in the end.
Thunder didn't get to come along on this trip. I have seen people biking with their dogs, but I'm not that brave! I'm afraid Thunder would take off at a dead run and I'd be tied to the other end of his leash...WITH WHEELS UNDERNEATH ME!!!!! Not a chance!
Alright, I feel great. I ate supper before I rode my bike tonight. I wonder if that has anything to do with why it was so easy. I wonder if I should eat something before I run in the mornings.
I hope you have a great night. I'll see you in the morning and tell you how my run went.
Sincerely,
Victoria
I don't know how far I rode, I don't know how fast I rode, I just rode! I think it must have been about 40 minutes. It was the greatest thing EVER! It beats running because when I run, I can only go as fast as my body will let me go, but when I bike, I can go as fast as I really want to go.
That was a blast. I don't, at all, mind doing that every other day. I listened to music in my earphones too. (Yes, I know that is not safe because if I get hit by a car I won't know it until I go flying into the air and not when the car starts to skid.)
OK...So, I needed a good day after yesterday. I'm going to see how the running goes tomorrow morning. Maybe I'll just breeze through it. We'll see. I'm not so frustrated anymore. I think that even if I have to adjust the amount of time that I alternate the running and walking, it'll still all work out in the end.
Thunder didn't get to come along on this trip. I have seen people biking with their dogs, but I'm not that brave! I'm afraid Thunder would take off at a dead run and I'd be tied to the other end of his leash...WITH WHEELS UNDERNEATH ME!!!!! Not a chance!
Alright, I feel great. I ate supper before I rode my bike tonight. I wonder if that has anything to do with why it was so easy. I wonder if I should eat something before I run in the mornings.
I hope you have a great night. I'll see you in the morning and tell you how my run went.
Sincerely,
Victoria
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
I think I'm just not cut out for this
I was discouraged that I could not complete the run this morning, so I thought I'd try to run the other 4 repetitions of "run 60 seconds, walk 90 seconds" this evening. Thunder and I went out tonight and gave it a try. I only was able to do 3 of them. What is wrong with me? The stupid program calls for me to do 8 of them. I could only do 4 this morning, and I couldn't even do that tonight.
I just want to be good at this. It really kills me when I try to do something and I don't get it right away. It is sooo frustrating.
Ok...here it goes. You were bound to hear this story sooner or later. I'll wait here while you go get the tissues! When I was in high school, there was a cross-country team. I don't remember if it was 3 or 5 miles that they ran. You didn't have to try out for it, you just showed up. There were some of the people who were really fast, and some of the people who were really slow...and...yep...you guessed it...then there was me!!!!!
I LOVED the cross country team! I absolutely ADORED the cross-country team! I couldn't wait to get there in the afternoon and lace my shoes up. Ok...so as I look back at it, after we ran each day, I must have arrived back at the school about 10 or so minutes behind everyone else. Nobody was ever mean to me or anything, I think they just didn't ever pay a lot of attention to me (probably because they only saw me when the coach said "go"!!!!!)
Ok...moving right along...so one day, I arrive back at the school, and all of the other girls had gone home. The coach was there waiting for me. She called me into the locker room and told me that we needed to "talk". "Oh, wow", I thought "this is so great, I'm a real track runner, and I'm having a talk in the locker room with the coach. This is really cool :)" (You see where this is going, don't you?)
She looks at me and she says:
"Victoria, do you like being on the cross-country team?"
"Yes ma'am" I said to her, with no idea that she was like a snake, slithering in for the kill.
"Is this something you really want to do?"
"Oh yes ma'am, I really do". (I had no idea what was coming.)
"You know Victoria, sometimes people really like to do certain things." ,
"Yes ma'am" (Wasn't it cool being on the cross country team and spending time talking one on one with the coach? We might even become friends or something)
"You know, Victoria" she began, "I have always wanted to be a dancer."
"Cool Coach P."
"You know the dancers I mean? The ones in Las Vegas...the ones that all stand in a line and rest their arms on each other's shoulders, and kick their legs up real high all at the same time, and then they turn the other way and kick that way?"
Now, I must tell you that this seemed kind of strange to me, looking at Coach P and thinking about this. You see, Coach P was about 5 feet tall and about 150 pounds and she cut her hair real short like my Dad. He even told me that she actually went to a barber shop to get it cut. She had been a P.E. coach for about 20 years. She was very square, and she had short, stubby little hands that reminded me of a mechanic. The nails were very short and they always had black stuff under them like she had been working on a car. She had very short dumpy little legs, she didn't shave the hairs off of them, and she wore her socks very high, which gave the illusion that her legs were even shorter than they were.
I looked at her kind of puzzled, and said:
"I'm really sorry about that Coach P, maybe if you went over there to Las Vegas and spoke with them..."
"Victoria?" she looked kind of mad or something.
"Yes ma'am?"
"Sometimes we have dreams, things we really want to do, but we are just not cut out for them. I don't care how hard I try, I'll never be one of those dancers in Las Vegas. I'm just not cut out for it. You really want to be a runner Victoria, but sometimes, no matter how much we want something, or how hard we work, it will never happen for us, and it is better for us to know that upfront than to be under the delusion that we are something that we aren't."
She got up and reached into my locker and took out my clothes that I had folded so neatly that morning in anticipation of track practice, and laid them on the bench. She gently and thoughtfully removed my lock and laid it neatly on top of my clothes. Then, she walked out of the room.
I went home and told my Dad that I wouldn't be going to cross-country in the evenings anymore, I explained to him that it was interfering with my studies and that I just didn't like it as much as I thought I would.
Since then, I have always thought that I could do anything that I wanted, but I really feel like maybe I just can't do this. I'm not giving up. I'm still going to train, but I think the ultimate failure for me would be having to walk in Houston.
You know what I think? I think Coach P never really wanted to be one of those kind of dancers.
I just want to be good at this. It really kills me when I try to do something and I don't get it right away. It is sooo frustrating.
Ok...here it goes. You were bound to hear this story sooner or later. I'll wait here while you go get the tissues! When I was in high school, there was a cross-country team. I don't remember if it was 3 or 5 miles that they ran. You didn't have to try out for it, you just showed up. There were some of the people who were really fast, and some of the people who were really slow...and...yep...you guessed it...then there was me!!!!!
I LOVED the cross country team! I absolutely ADORED the cross-country team! I couldn't wait to get there in the afternoon and lace my shoes up. Ok...so as I look back at it, after we ran each day, I must have arrived back at the school about 10 or so minutes behind everyone else. Nobody was ever mean to me or anything, I think they just didn't ever pay a lot of attention to me (probably because they only saw me when the coach said "go"!!!!!)
Ok...moving right along...so one day, I arrive back at the school, and all of the other girls had gone home. The coach was there waiting for me. She called me into the locker room and told me that we needed to "talk". "Oh, wow", I thought "this is so great, I'm a real track runner, and I'm having a talk in the locker room with the coach. This is really cool :)" (You see where this is going, don't you?)
She looks at me and she says:
"Victoria, do you like being on the cross-country team?"
"Yes ma'am" I said to her, with no idea that she was like a snake, slithering in for the kill.
"Is this something you really want to do?"
"Oh yes ma'am, I really do". (I had no idea what was coming.)
"You know Victoria, sometimes people really like to do certain things." ,
"Yes ma'am" (Wasn't it cool being on the cross country team and spending time talking one on one with the coach? We might even become friends or something)
"You know, Victoria" she began, "I have always wanted to be a dancer."
"Cool Coach P."
"You know the dancers I mean? The ones in Las Vegas...the ones that all stand in a line and rest their arms on each other's shoulders, and kick their legs up real high all at the same time, and then they turn the other way and kick that way?"
Now, I must tell you that this seemed kind of strange to me, looking at Coach P and thinking about this. You see, Coach P was about 5 feet tall and about 150 pounds and she cut her hair real short like my Dad. He even told me that she actually went to a barber shop to get it cut. She had been a P.E. coach for about 20 years. She was very square, and she had short, stubby little hands that reminded me of a mechanic. The nails were very short and they always had black stuff under them like she had been working on a car. She had very short dumpy little legs, she didn't shave the hairs off of them, and she wore her socks very high, which gave the illusion that her legs were even shorter than they were.
I looked at her kind of puzzled, and said:
"I'm really sorry about that Coach P, maybe if you went over there to Las Vegas and spoke with them..."
"Victoria?" she looked kind of mad or something.
"Yes ma'am?"
"Sometimes we have dreams, things we really want to do, but we are just not cut out for them. I don't care how hard I try, I'll never be one of those dancers in Las Vegas. I'm just not cut out for it. You really want to be a runner Victoria, but sometimes, no matter how much we want something, or how hard we work, it will never happen for us, and it is better for us to know that upfront than to be under the delusion that we are something that we aren't."
She got up and reached into my locker and took out my clothes that I had folded so neatly that morning in anticipation of track practice, and laid them on the bench. She gently and thoughtfully removed my lock and laid it neatly on top of my clothes. Then, she walked out of the room.
I went home and told my Dad that I wouldn't be going to cross-country in the evenings anymore, I explained to him that it was interfering with my studies and that I just didn't like it as much as I thought I would.
Since then, I have always thought that I could do anything that I wanted, but I really feel like maybe I just can't do this. I'm not giving up. I'm still going to train, but I think the ultimate failure for me would be having to walk in Houston.
You know what I think? I think Coach P never really wanted to be one of those kind of dancers.
One Step Forward And...
Well, today was the day that I started the coolrunning "Couch to 5K" program. The plan called for 8 repetitions of "jog 60 seconds, walk 90 seconds". I was only able to complete 4 of the repetitions before I had to stop and call it a day. I was so tired, I couldn't even WALK the rest of the time. I am a little disappointed about this but I'm not going to let it kill me. I have a goal of completing the Houston Half in January, and I am going to do that. I am proud of myself and this is just one little-bitty part of the journey. I will have many improvements and pittfalls along the way.
I think the best way to handle this is just to try it until I get it. Even if it takes 2 weeks to complete this step. It'll be ok.
Ok... UNOFFICIALLY...I weighed myself this morning. It is the one week mark for me, and I had said that I was going to post my weight every 2 weeks so that I won't get discouraged, BUT...I took a sneak peek this morning and...and...and...I lost 4 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I weigh 207. It still qualifies as "moo-cow" but it's 4 pounds less moo-cow than I was last week!
I am also proud to report that Thunder is moving right along with his fitness plan as well! He LOVED running today. I mean he absolutely LOVED it! He was loving it, and I was dragging behind him trying to slow him down!
Ok...I'm gonna sign off now. I've got a few things to do, and then I have to go get my teeth cleaned this afternoon.
CUL8R,
Victoria
I think the best way to handle this is just to try it until I get it. Even if it takes 2 weeks to complete this step. It'll be ok.
Ok... UNOFFICIALLY...I weighed myself this morning. It is the one week mark for me, and I had said that I was going to post my weight every 2 weeks so that I won't get discouraged, BUT...I took a sneak peek this morning and...and...and...I lost 4 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I weigh 207. It still qualifies as "moo-cow" but it's 4 pounds less moo-cow than I was last week!
I am also proud to report that Thunder is moving right along with his fitness plan as well! He LOVED running today. I mean he absolutely LOVED it! He was loving it, and I was dragging behind him trying to slow him down!
Ok...I'm gonna sign off now. I've got a few things to do, and then I have to go get my teeth cleaned this afternoon.
CUL8R,
Victoria
Sunday, July 23, 2006
An Afternoon Walk
I have been having "the jitters" all day long. All day long, I felt like I drank a thousand cups of coffee, but I didn't drink any. This is a "female" issue. It's much too early in the month for this to start happening, because I think I have something like 11 days before my cycle starts. I missed 2 BC pills the last week and now my body thinks it's time to start. (Note: My tubes are tied but I use the BC pill to regulate my periods.)
Anyway, the jitters were horrible. I was grumpy and nervous. It really stunk. We went to the lake and Andrew caught 6 fish. When we got home, I was a little snappy with the kids. I remembered something Debra had told me once about that. She told me that if I get real grumpy, to exercise. Something about the oxygen or going fast or something is supposed to help. I figured it couldn't hurt, so Thunder and I took a little walk. We walked our mile.
I feel a little better, not a whole lot. I don't know. I'm gonna go take a bath and try to eat some supper. I haven't even fixed supper for my husband and children yet (bad mommy!).
I'm going to go for a run in the morning and I'll let'cha know how it goes.
Anyway, the jitters were horrible. I was grumpy and nervous. It really stunk. We went to the lake and Andrew caught 6 fish. When we got home, I was a little snappy with the kids. I remembered something Debra had told me once about that. She told me that if I get real grumpy, to exercise. Something about the oxygen or going fast or something is supposed to help. I figured it couldn't hurt, so Thunder and I took a little walk. We walked our mile.
I feel a little better, not a whole lot. I don't know. I'm gonna go take a bath and try to eat some supper. I haven't even fixed supper for my husband and children yet (bad mommy!).
I'm going to go for a run in the morning and I'll let'cha know how it goes.
An Amazing Run
Thunder and I just got back from this morning's run. It was the most amazing run ever. The mile only took 16 minutes...before you laugh, you should know that my first day, it took almost 25 minutes (now you can laugh!). During a few parts of it, I felt like actually running today, and not just walking. It wasn't just running by my standards, anyone who saw it would have said it was a fast jog or a run! I didn't do it very often, but I'd say that, on and off, I ran about 1/4 of the mile!!!! I am SOOOOO proud of myself, and I don't feel like I've been dragged behind a truck!
Thunder liked the running part, but not the walking part! He wishes we could run the whole thing. Don't worry Thunder, you'll get your wish, maybe not so far in the distant future.
CUL8R,
Victoria
Thunder liked the running part, but not the walking part! He wishes we could run the whole thing. Don't worry Thunder, you'll get your wish, maybe not so far in the distant future.
CUL8R,
Victoria
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Rained Out
Well, my evening "run" was rained out. I was going to wait things cooled off, but the rain came. So, I guess I'll have a day of rest and I'll just get up and run in the morning.
It wasn't a great day anyway. It's getting to be my "grumpy time" and that always brings my energy level down and my grumpus level up! We'll see how it all turns out.
I hope you have a great night, and I'll see you in the morning.
Victoria
It wasn't a great day anyway. It's getting to be my "grumpy time" and that always brings my energy level down and my grumpus level up! We'll see how it all turns out.
I hope you have a great night, and I'll see you in the morning.
Victoria
Let Me Clear Something Up...
I slept a little late this morning, and had a few errands to run, and by the time I got back home, the sun was high in the sky and it was too hot to run. So, I am going this evening when it is a little cooler. I never really thought I'd say this, but I can't wait for my run this evening.
Let me clear something up right now. When I say to you that I am going for a "run", I don't want you to get the impression that I am actually going to "run"!!! (I can see how you might get confused!!!) Ok...let me explain. What you see, and what I feel are two completely different things.
What you see: A big, fat, woman walking, and holding tightly a leash that is connected to a big dog. Her feet are not lifting very high off the ground, she is not going very fast, she appears to be in mild distress, she is panting, her walk is not a slow walk but not a jog and certainly could never be considered a "run". She appears to be holding onto the leash for support. Is that dog actually holding her up? You're thinking "I wonder if she needs some assistance. Perhaps she needs a ride home! Maybe I should help!"
What I feel:
I have my earphones in, I am gripping Thunder's leash, I am happy and smiling, my music is making me feel like I am going pretty fast. I feel like I am really moving at a fast clip! I look ahead and I don't see the houses of my neighbors, I see a lot of people on the road, they are cheering for me. I look good. I am really moving now! I think I am running a marathon. I am very confident. When I run, I am not fat. When I run, I am not slow. When I run, I am not unsure. I am happy and confident and moving fast. You might think I am walking, but I know that I am running. I love to run. I love the music, I love the time away from the husband and kids, and the time in my own head, and I love to watch Thunder run. He looks beautiful.
So, when I say that I am "running" , now you'll know what I mean!
I'll talk to you this evening after my "run".
Sincerely,
Victoria
Let me clear something up right now. When I say to you that I am going for a "run", I don't want you to get the impression that I am actually going to "run"!!! (I can see how you might get confused!!!) Ok...let me explain. What you see, and what I feel are two completely different things.
What you see: A big, fat, woman walking, and holding tightly a leash that is connected to a big dog. Her feet are not lifting very high off the ground, she is not going very fast, she appears to be in mild distress, she is panting, her walk is not a slow walk but not a jog and certainly could never be considered a "run". She appears to be holding onto the leash for support. Is that dog actually holding her up? You're thinking "I wonder if she needs some assistance. Perhaps she needs a ride home! Maybe I should help!"
What I feel:
I have my earphones in, I am gripping Thunder's leash, I am happy and smiling, my music is making me feel like I am going pretty fast. I feel like I am really moving at a fast clip! I look ahead and I don't see the houses of my neighbors, I see a lot of people on the road, they are cheering for me. I look good. I am really moving now! I think I am running a marathon. I am very confident. When I run, I am not fat. When I run, I am not slow. When I run, I am not unsure. I am happy and confident and moving fast. You might think I am walking, but I know that I am running. I love to run. I love the music, I love the time away from the husband and kids, and the time in my own head, and I love to watch Thunder run. He looks beautiful.
So, when I say that I am "running" , now you'll know what I mean!
I'll talk to you this evening after my "run".
Sincerely,
Victoria
Friday, July 21, 2006
My Lunch
I love the "cycle diet" sooo much. It is the only "diet" where I feel full. I am not waiting for my next meal. It is not designed to be a weight-loss diet. It is designed to be a diet for people who have PMS and PMDD. I have PMDD. This means that I get really mean and want to tear people's eyes out when I am having my period!
A lady named Debra Hope-Reisedel is a nutrtionist/dietician and she designed a diet to help people like me to not tear out the eyes of others during our periods (wasn't that nice of her?)!!!!!
She has 2 phases to her diet. It's broken up into the 2 parts of the month where you are finishing or starting your menstrual cycle (the luteal phase and the follicular phase). During the short time that I followed her diet last year, I followed strictly the luteal phase, which is the more strict phase, but I really like it.
http://www.cyclediet.com/luteal_phase_menu.php
Today for lunch, I had 1/2 cup of egg beater, 1 packet of oatmeal, 1/2 cup blackberries with splenda on them, 1/2 cup corn, and about 6 or 7 okra spears. I am STUFFED! Debra wants people to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner plus 2 snacks. I am really having a hard time eating so much right now, so...I know she wouldn't whole-heartedly approve, but for breakfast I have a cup of decaf coffee with soy milk in it and a whole-wheat bagel. Then I eat my other 2 meals just like she has it written down. I just can't really eat all 3 meals and the snacks.
I feel great after lunch.
CUL8R,
Victoria
A lady named Debra Hope-Reisedel is a nutrtionist/dietician and she designed a diet to help people like me to not tear out the eyes of others during our periods (wasn't that nice of her?)!!!!!
She has 2 phases to her diet. It's broken up into the 2 parts of the month where you are finishing or starting your menstrual cycle (the luteal phase and the follicular phase). During the short time that I followed her diet last year, I followed strictly the luteal phase, which is the more strict phase, but I really like it.
http://www.cyclediet.com/luteal_phase_menu.php
Today for lunch, I had 1/2 cup of egg beater, 1 packet of oatmeal, 1/2 cup blackberries with splenda on them, 1/2 cup corn, and about 6 or 7 okra spears. I am STUFFED! Debra wants people to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner plus 2 snacks. I am really having a hard time eating so much right now, so...I know she wouldn't whole-heartedly approve, but for breakfast I have a cup of decaf coffee with soy milk in it and a whole-wheat bagel. Then I eat my other 2 meals just like she has it written down. I just can't really eat all 3 meals and the snacks.
I feel great after lunch.
CUL8R,
Victoria
3rd Walk
Alright, I'm on a roll! Just got back from my third walk, which I can't really say was much easier than my 2nd, but I'm not in so much discomfort afterwards. I really do have to say that I am getting into the routine a little, and I can begin to tell that somewhere in the future, this could become pleasurable!
I'll have to remember to check Thunder's pads on the bottoms of his feet to make sure that they aren't cut or anything, because he insists on walking on the sidewalk, even when I try to position myself on the sidewalk and him on the grass. He doesn't want to be on the grass. I don't care whether he walks on the sidewalk or the grass, but I just have to make sure that his pads are ok. If they are cut or anything, he'll have to take a few days of rest.
I'm going to sign off now, and wish you a great day. I am off to have one myself.
Bye4 Now,
Victoria
I'll have to remember to check Thunder's pads on the bottoms of his feet to make sure that they aren't cut or anything, because he insists on walking on the sidewalk, even when I try to position myself on the sidewalk and him on the grass. He doesn't want to be on the grass. I don't care whether he walks on the sidewalk or the grass, but I just have to make sure that his pads are ok. If they are cut or anything, he'll have to take a few days of rest.
I'm going to sign off now, and wish you a great day. I am off to have one myself.
Bye4 Now,
Victoria
Thursday, July 20, 2006
2nd Walk
I just got back from my second walk, and I can't believe how much different it was from the first. I wouldn't say it was easy, but it was definitely bearable. Don't get me wrong, it was a tough haul, it just wasn't as excruciating as 2 days ago. I really needed a day of rest.
The plan has changed. Instead of doing 2 walks, I am going to do one. It takes me about 20 minutes to walk the mile, and the program I am going to do, starts out at 20 minutes of run/walk. I thought it was 30 minutes of run/walk and I didn't know how I was going to pull that off, so that's why I had said 2 walks per day. Now I know that would be way too much. I will walk 1 mile every other day until Monday or Wednesday and then I will start the Couch to 5K program that's on the coolrunning site.
Thunder looked good on our walk too. He looked like he really wanted to trot! "Not yet Thunder...I've got a ways to go before we can do that!!!"
The plan has changed. Instead of doing 2 walks, I am going to do one. It takes me about 20 minutes to walk the mile, and the program I am going to do, starts out at 20 minutes of run/walk. I thought it was 30 minutes of run/walk and I didn't know how I was going to pull that off, so that's why I had said 2 walks per day. Now I know that would be way too much. I will walk 1 mile every other day until Monday or Wednesday and then I will start the Couch to 5K program that's on the coolrunning site.
Thunder looked good on our walk too. He looked like he really wanted to trot! "Not yet Thunder...I've got a ways to go before we can do that!!!"
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
I guess that's why they call it a JOURNEY!!!!!!!
I just got back from my first walk, my first step toward the Houston Half-Marathon, and boy do I have a long journey ahead of me! I always use that word, but this time it's begining to mean something to me!!!!
Let's just say this first...I am very proud of myself for setting the clock and getting up and going. It is very hard at this stage in the game to see how what I am doing right now is EVER going to turn into anything else. How is a big, fatgirl like me going to run in a half-marathon? It doesn't add up. It's one of those leaps of faith that I hear about. But I'm gonna take it. I'm going to trust in myself that I will stay on this program and continue to eat healthy and exercise and that there will be benefits.
About the walk:
It was just a WALK...right?...right? It was just a little walk...RIGHT? Then why do I feel like I have been dragged behind a truck? I was very excited and motivated at first, but by the end, I felt like...like..well...like I was being dragged behind a truck!!!!!!!!!
I just can't believe how out of shape I am, but I am not going to dwell on that. I am going to trust that one day, in a few months, I will be running down the road, having a great run and smiling at my accomplishments with the anxiety of this day far behind me.
I brought Thunder with me. He LOVES to be active. He comes from a working line, so he's not a very affectionate dog. He just loves to move. He wasn't entirely satisfied at today's walk because if it were up to him, we'd have been moving a lot faster than what we were!!!! But, I loved having him with me.
I also loved my music. I burned a CD the other night... Remember...? I told you when I was doing that :) Pay attention!!! :) Anyway, I need new batteries in my cd player, but I'm gonna get those today, but I loved my songs. I like a variety of music. Let me see what's on there and I'll tell you.
1. Goody Two Shoes- Adam Ant
2. Booty Drop!
3. Cleaning out my Closet- Eminem
4. Run Rabbit Run- Eminem
5. Calling Baton Rouge- Garth Brooks
6. Our Lips are Sealed- The Go-Go's
7. Battle of New Orleans- Johnny Horton
8. A really cool Army Ranger Cadence that I downloaded. (My Daddy was in the 82nd Airborne and he'd like this one.)
9. Oh Mickey, You're so fine- Tony Basil ***Don't you DARE laugh at me, I'm just a poor fat woman!!!!!!
10. I love L.A.- Randy Newman
11. Snoopy and the Red Barron
12. Splish Splash by Elmo (My kids put that one on there for me!!!!)
13. Rock this town- Stray Cats
14. Here's a Quarter Call someone who cares- Travis Tritt
Now if that's not the most diverse thing you've ever heard in your life, I don't know what is!!!!! I know what you're thinking: "She put Garth Brooks and Eminem on the same CD?"
Post Script:
As I sat here and wrote to you, the sweat has dried, and the frustration has begun to dissipate, and I notice a smile on my face! I have a long way to go, but I really am proud of myself for getting up and walking. I have a feeling that I went a lot farther than a mile today...in many ways.
Let's just say this first...I am very proud of myself for setting the clock and getting up and going. It is very hard at this stage in the game to see how what I am doing right now is EVER going to turn into anything else. How is a big, fatgirl like me going to run in a half-marathon? It doesn't add up. It's one of those leaps of faith that I hear about. But I'm gonna take it. I'm going to trust in myself that I will stay on this program and continue to eat healthy and exercise and that there will be benefits.
About the walk:
It was just a WALK...right?...right? It was just a little walk...RIGHT? Then why do I feel like I have been dragged behind a truck? I was very excited and motivated at first, but by the end, I felt like...like..well...like I was being dragged behind a truck!!!!!!!!!
I just can't believe how out of shape I am, but I am not going to dwell on that. I am going to trust that one day, in a few months, I will be running down the road, having a great run and smiling at my accomplishments with the anxiety of this day far behind me.
I brought Thunder with me. He LOVES to be active. He comes from a working line, so he's not a very affectionate dog. He just loves to move. He wasn't entirely satisfied at today's walk because if it were up to him, we'd have been moving a lot faster than what we were!!!! But, I loved having him with me.
I also loved my music. I burned a CD the other night... Remember...? I told you when I was doing that :) Pay attention!!! :) Anyway, I need new batteries in my cd player, but I'm gonna get those today, but I loved my songs. I like a variety of music. Let me see what's on there and I'll tell you.
1. Goody Two Shoes- Adam Ant
2. Booty Drop!
3. Cleaning out my Closet- Eminem
4. Run Rabbit Run- Eminem
5. Calling Baton Rouge- Garth Brooks
6. Our Lips are Sealed- The Go-Go's
7. Battle of New Orleans- Johnny Horton
8. A really cool Army Ranger Cadence that I downloaded. (My Daddy was in the 82nd Airborne and he'd like this one.)
9. Oh Mickey, You're so fine- Tony Basil ***Don't you DARE laugh at me, I'm just a poor fat woman!!!!!!
10. I love L.A.- Randy Newman
11. Snoopy and the Red Barron
12. Splish Splash by Elmo (My kids put that one on there for me!!!!)
13. Rock this town- Stray Cats
14. Here's a Quarter Call someone who cares- Travis Tritt
Now if that's not the most diverse thing you've ever heard in your life, I don't know what is!!!!! I know what you're thinking: "She put Garth Brooks and Eminem on the same CD?"
Post Script:
As I sat here and wrote to you, the sweat has dried, and the frustration has begun to dissipate, and I notice a smile on my face! I have a long way to go, but I really am proud of myself for getting up and walking. I have a feeling that I went a lot farther than a mile today...in many ways.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Food
Ok!!! I'm back from the store. I didn't have a lot of money with me so I didn't get a whole lot.
I ended up with some Campbells Gold Label Select soups, frozen fruits, frozen vegetables, Kashi has some frozen dinners out so I got 2 of those to try so I'll know whether or not to buy more. I also got some "Egg Beaters" (fake eggs but they still have the same amnt of protein) and some oatmeal. I got some black beans and 2morrow I'll go get my favorite grain thing...Kashi 7 grain pilaf.
I'm stressing out. I hate diets and this is starting to feel like one more than it feels like a running program. Maybe that's because I haven't RUN YET!!!!! I'm procrastinating.
So, in the morning, Thunder and I are going to briskly walk about a mile and then we'll repeat it tomorrow evening. I'll letcha know how it goes.
Goodnight,
Victoria
I ended up with some Campbells Gold Label Select soups, frozen fruits, frozen vegetables, Kashi has some frozen dinners out so I got 2 of those to try so I'll know whether or not to buy more. I also got some "Egg Beaters" (fake eggs but they still have the same amnt of protein) and some oatmeal. I got some black beans and 2morrow I'll go get my favorite grain thing...Kashi 7 grain pilaf.
I'm stressing out. I hate diets and this is starting to feel like one more than it feels like a running program. Maybe that's because I haven't RUN YET!!!!! I'm procrastinating.
So, in the morning, Thunder and I are going to briskly walk about a mile and then we'll repeat it tomorrow evening. I'll letcha know how it goes.
Goodnight,
Victoria
So...What am I waiting for?
Ok...I've gotten my blog started, started my webpage, burned songs for my cd to run, found my running shoes, planned my diet...what?...what else am I going to find to do before I get started with my program? Get off the couch and RUN Fatgirl!
I need to go shopping 2nite and get enough stuff for one week, and then get up in the morning and walk one mile with Thunder. Then, we'll walk another mile tomorrow afternoon. After a week of this, he and I will be ready to do one 30 minute workout 4 times a week.
No more waiting. Let's get this show on the road. I'm going to post again tonight after I go shopping and I'll let'cha know what I got.
Bye4Now,
Victoria
I need to go shopping 2nite and get enough stuff for one week, and then get up in the morning and walk one mile with Thunder. Then, we'll walk another mile tomorrow afternoon. After a week of this, he and I will be ready to do one 30 minute workout 4 times a week.
No more waiting. Let's get this show on the road. I'm going to post again tonight after I go shopping and I'll let'cha know what I got.
Bye4Now,
Victoria
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Pictures
This is me and my dog Thunder getting ready to run
This is my "Before" picture. In this picture, I weigh 211 pounds. It was taken on Sunday, July 16, 2006
This is my "Before" picture. In this picture, I weigh 211 pounds. It was taken on Sunday, July 16, 2006
Saturday, July 15, 2006
The Scale
Ok...I fianally weighed. It took me forever and a few tears to get the nerve up but I did it. Here's the damage: I weigh 211 pounds. My goal weight is 140 (71 pounds), but I am not in this for the scale at this point. I am going to start my program in the next few days and I'm just going to concentrate on the running goal and just make sure that I am eating properly.
I am going to put a current picture of myself on here either 2morrow or Monday. I am also going to put a picture of my dog, Thunder, that is going to be my running partner. Thunder is great. He is a German Shephard and he comes from a working line, so he just LOVES to be active. He has not been getting that wish lately, and he (not unlike his human mother) is a little plump.
I am going to sign off now and burn some music to a cd so that I can listen while I run.
Bye 4 Now,
Victoria
I am going to put a current picture of myself on here either 2morrow or Monday. I am also going to put a picture of my dog, Thunder, that is going to be my running partner. Thunder is great. He is a German Shephard and he comes from a working line, so he just LOVES to be active. He has not been getting that wish lately, and he (not unlike his human mother) is a little plump.
I am going to sign off now and burn some music to a cd so that I can listen while I run.
Bye 4 Now,
Victoria
Thursday, July 13, 2006
The Plan
Now that I have become so absolutely out of control, I have to have a plan to get back into shape. In order for any weight loss plan to be effective, 2 things must occur (like it or not!). There must be a dietary change which can consist of many elements, but the most important must be a reduction in calories. The second thing which must occur is an increase in excercise.
Now here's the problem. In the past, when I have focused my attention too much on the dietary aspect, and the primary goal is "weight loss", I get too overwhelmed and end up stopping. All I think about is "the diet" and I wait for the next meal. So, my PRIMARY FOCUS is going to be on the exercise. The goal I have set for myself is not a weight loss goal or a goal of being on a diet for a certain amount of time, my goal is to work up to running 13.1 miles in January.
Don't get me wrong, I AM going to change my eating habits. I am going to be doing "The Cycle Diet". It is a diet for people who have PMS or PMDD (like me)! It is healthy and balanced and last year I went on it and even though it is not designed to be a "weight loss diet", I really did lose weight because I wasn't cramming tacos and burgers and chips and sodas down my throat all day long. I was never hungry and I felt healthier than I ever had in my life.
I am just saying that my PRIMARY focus is going to be on my running goal and I think that the weight will fall into place when I change my eating habits and increase my exercise.
For the first week, I am going to walk 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the afternoon. The second week, I am going to walk/run 30 minutes a day, 4 times a week. I am going to follow the "couch potato to 5k" plan on the Coolrunning website. http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml
I think that something I really should do soon is to weigh myself. I am really terrified to do that.
Now here's the problem. In the past, when I have focused my attention too much on the dietary aspect, and the primary goal is "weight loss", I get too overwhelmed and end up stopping. All I think about is "the diet" and I wait for the next meal. So, my PRIMARY FOCUS is going to be on the exercise. The goal I have set for myself is not a weight loss goal or a goal of being on a diet for a certain amount of time, my goal is to work up to running 13.1 miles in January.
Don't get me wrong, I AM going to change my eating habits. I am going to be doing "The Cycle Diet". It is a diet for people who have PMS or PMDD (like me)! It is healthy and balanced and last year I went on it and even though it is not designed to be a "weight loss diet", I really did lose weight because I wasn't cramming tacos and burgers and chips and sodas down my throat all day long. I was never hungry and I felt healthier than I ever had in my life.
I am just saying that my PRIMARY focus is going to be on my running goal and I think that the weight will fall into place when I change my eating habits and increase my exercise.
For the first week, I am going to walk 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the afternoon. The second week, I am going to walk/run 30 minutes a day, 4 times a week. I am going to follow the "couch potato to 5k" plan on the Coolrunning website. http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml
I think that something I really should do soon is to weigh myself. I am really terrified to do that.
My Story
I am a 38 year old mother of 2. My whole life, I had been a thin person. I never had much of an appetite. Thin was just the way I was. I didn't do anything to perpetuate this, nor did I particularly care one way or the other whether I was thin. It was just the way I was born...and the way I stayed until about 5 years ago.
In January of 2000, I gave birth to Olivia, my second child. I had a few extra pounds on me. I weighed about 150 pounds. Normally, I weighed right at 130. The 20 pounds didn't look bad on me really. I was still pretty thin. We had a lot of stress because we were told when we were pregnant that Olivia would probably have cystic fibrosis (a respiratory disease that sometimes causes a shortened life span). This was a HUGE stress but even bigger than that, when she was born, she exhibited no signs of the disease and seemed perfectly normal. Even after months, none of the tests were conclusive. It seems like this would have been a relief, but for me it wasn't. It made things more stressful because I felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I didn't want to settle my mind into the fact that Olivia had dodged a bullet and was perfectly healthy. If I did that, what would happen if one day she started to present with the symptoms of this deadly disease?
I felt very uncomfortable discussing my fears with my husband because years ago, when he was 8 years old, his sister had died of CF and he was just so happy that Olivia didn't have a diagnosis that he would not have understood my worry.
During this time, my father was very sick. I must have been eating a lot because in November of 2000, my Dad passed away and at that time, I weighed 170 pounds. I didn't know how to handle this because I had never been overweight in my life and the most weight I'd ever had to lose was 5 to 7 "vanity pounds". I didn't know what to do. I missed my father terribly because he was my best friend. My mother had never really been present in my life. I had grown up with my Dad. After their divorce when I was 7, I lived with my Dad and my mom didn't come around very often. My father had always told me that at whatever time that something happened to him, I would probably want very much to have a closer relationship to my mother. I never got the chance to find out. In March of 2001, three and a half months after my Dad died, my Mother took her own life.
I felt like I had absolutely NO control over my life. When I weighed myself in May, I weighed 195 pounds. Two months later, Olivia's diagnosis was confirmed. She definitely had cystic fibrosis.
Through the 5 years that have followed, I have come to accept the deaths of my parents and I have had time to enjoy both of my children. Olivia is an extremely healthy, absolutely "normal" child who has no problems with her CF. CF can affect different people in different ways and Olivia has a mild mutation.
The only thing that I haven't dealt with is my weight gain. It has to go. I HATE being overweight.
In January of 2000, I gave birth to Olivia, my second child. I had a few extra pounds on me. I weighed about 150 pounds. Normally, I weighed right at 130. The 20 pounds didn't look bad on me really. I was still pretty thin. We had a lot of stress because we were told when we were pregnant that Olivia would probably have cystic fibrosis (a respiratory disease that sometimes causes a shortened life span). This was a HUGE stress but even bigger than that, when she was born, she exhibited no signs of the disease and seemed perfectly normal. Even after months, none of the tests were conclusive. It seems like this would have been a relief, but for me it wasn't. It made things more stressful because I felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I didn't want to settle my mind into the fact that Olivia had dodged a bullet and was perfectly healthy. If I did that, what would happen if one day she started to present with the symptoms of this deadly disease?
I felt very uncomfortable discussing my fears with my husband because years ago, when he was 8 years old, his sister had died of CF and he was just so happy that Olivia didn't have a diagnosis that he would not have understood my worry.
During this time, my father was very sick. I must have been eating a lot because in November of 2000, my Dad passed away and at that time, I weighed 170 pounds. I didn't know how to handle this because I had never been overweight in my life and the most weight I'd ever had to lose was 5 to 7 "vanity pounds". I didn't know what to do. I missed my father terribly because he was my best friend. My mother had never really been present in my life. I had grown up with my Dad. After their divorce when I was 7, I lived with my Dad and my mom didn't come around very often. My father had always told me that at whatever time that something happened to him, I would probably want very much to have a closer relationship to my mother. I never got the chance to find out. In March of 2001, three and a half months after my Dad died, my Mother took her own life.
I felt like I had absolutely NO control over my life. When I weighed myself in May, I weighed 195 pounds. Two months later, Olivia's diagnosis was confirmed. She definitely had cystic fibrosis.
Through the 5 years that have followed, I have come to accept the deaths of my parents and I have had time to enjoy both of my children. Olivia is an extremely healthy, absolutely "normal" child who has no problems with her CF. CF can affect different people in different ways and Olivia has a mild mutation.
The only thing that I haven't dealt with is my weight gain. It has to go. I HATE being overweight.
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